After few minutes, I started sharing about my relationship
with Jesus and who He was to me. My testimony, what He is doing in my life at
present. They listened real close and then they started asking question after
question. This was a bit of a shock to me. They told me that they studied in a
“Christian” school but they didn’t know the truth. One of the hundred question they asked me was
– Why do you believe in Jesus and how do you know He is the real God.
As I
recall our conversation which we had for over an hour, I remember feeling so
joyful, different kind of peace. I was reminded of how it was in the beginning
when I started believing in Jesus. I would talk about Jesus in the classroom,
debate and prove that Jesus was the only true God, long talks on the road and
on the fields. It feels so different now, I think I started adapting and
trusting myself, how much I know about Jesus and looking for the right words
instead of believing in Jesus and really caring about my friends because I
don’t want to see them in hell- totally lost. Still reaching out, story doesn’t
end yet, enjoying ministering to youths through sports.
This was bothering me so much. I’m praying
that God would break me completely and teach me from the basics, more of you,
Jesus and less of me. I know there are many people who know a lot about Dadda.
I mean really know so much, but few who are really in love with Him. I dream
and want to be with Jesus so desperately; I want to live daily for eternity and
can’t wait to return home - Heaven!!!
So this
month has been really challenging. Lots of issues, which have been bothering my
heart and my relationship with friends, people and honestly, with God too. I
started doubting God and questioning Him about His goodness in my life.
I really didn’t understand yet. I
tried to make sense of the world in which I live based on a very small and
incomplete picture of reality. It was like looking at a parade through the tiny
knothole of hurt, pain self-centeredness, and power, and believing I am on my own
and insignificant. All of these contain powerful lies. I saw pain and death as
ultimate evils and God as the ultimate betrayer, or perhaps, at best, as
fundamentally untrustworthy. I dictated the terms and judged my actions and
found H
im guilty. 
The real underlying flaw in my
life, Bhuvenese was that I really didn’t think that He (God) is good. If I knew
He was good and that everything – that means, the ends, and all the processes
of individual lives-is all covered by His goodness, then while I might not
always understand what He is doing, I would trust Him completely. But I don’t.”
I am learning to trust Him like a little child. God has been speaking
powerfully to me, from this book.
This month has been both exciting
and challenging to me daily. Got to go to the villages in Jaipur and I enjoy
travelling over 90 kilometers for four days and ministering and getting to know
these precious kids. The journey has been amazing so far, getting to know and
build strong relationships. I’m really blessed by those who have been
encouraging and spending time with me. Love the passion you have for Jesus, the
unity and way you bless these kids even though few left and the weather at
times is extremely hot and the roads are bad. I praise God for every
opportunity and cherish those precious moments we had.
I have been reading the book “The
Shack”, I kid you not, it’s freaking awesome. It got me thinking, seriously in
deep thoughts. I am praying that God would renew my thoughts daily and change
me from the inside out.
I would love to have meeting and having close intimacy with the trinity in the shack anytime.
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